Freewrite #2: Not So Peaceful

When I first gazed at this image I couldn’t help but to have happy thoughts. Cherry blossoms that complement a beautiful sky? A nice creek on the side of a castle? It just reeks of serene life. But then I started thinking: what if there was something dark underneath it all?

Your prompt is to write about whatever “darkness” that may be hidden in this otherwise peaceful abode. You can write it as a poem, 100 word short narrative or a 1000 words. Whatever–just go write!

You’ve got two weeks! Post it on your blog and leave a link in the comments.

*Last prompt: Music Muse

17 Replies to “Freewrite #2: Not So Peaceful”

  1. “Take up arms! We’re under attack!” The blunderbuss hit my square in the chest as Jamie took off back up the grand staircase. “All men to their stations!” he bellowed, surcoat on back to front. “To arms! To arms!”
    “What the hell?”
    Lisa shrugged down at my from the top of the stairs, holding the cutlass up as Jamie sprinted past to prove she was prepared.
    “Carpet beetles,” she said quietly once I was standing next to her by the banister. Somewhere beneath us a door slammed and Jamie’s voice carried up.
    “We shall smite them! We shall crush them! Victory shall be ours!”
    “Rally speech,” Lisa said. “He’s been giving them all morning. I think this one is for the Sir Geoffrey.”
    “The suit of armour in the dinning room?”
    Lisa nodded.
    “What do we do?” I asked.
    “Nothing really,” she replied. “Just hope he does less damage then the carpet beetles.”

  2. If I didn’t have so many other writing projects I was working on right now, I would definitely be up for this challenge. But I did want to tell you that I think it is a VERY cool idea! I LOVE the idea of the “just below the surface” examination! 😀 Very creative post!

  3. I see your challange and answer with part of one of my book’s

    He turned to the hand maid. “Do you know of the old lady currently staying in the village?”

    “Yes my lord.”

    “Fetch her, then make sure is around this section of the house.”

    “Yes, my lord” She said before running off to do the Oyabun’s bidding.

    He laid his Katana on the floor next to him and put his arm around Illiana. She looked at it and her eye’s went wild, the tears momentary forgotten. “Oyabun, the Katana, it not your own.

    He looked down and froze, he did not even realise when he had grabbed it, but the Katana was James’s own Katana, Oyabun Gin-Shi’ppo had made for him. Such was the honour that had been bestowed on it when James had decided to leave, he had asked for the Oyabun to guard it until his return.

    “Oyabun, what does this mean?” Illiana asked, the tears welling up again.

    Before he could answer, there was a knock on the door.

    “Come!” He ordered.

    The door opened and the old lady entered. She walked across and stopped half way seeing the Katana. She knelt on the floor and bowed. They explained what had happened and she sat quietly for a moment.

    “Something has happened to James, has it not?” Illiana Asked.

    “I am sorry to say, yes.”

    Oyabun Gin-Shi’ppo started to get up and was stopped by the old lady. “Please my lord, there is nothing you can do. James will have to sort this out on his own as the clan has its own problems that it must now deal with!”

    From Kitsune, Copyright Adam “AJB2K3” Bryant 2013

  4. It took me couple of days to write it, but I love the outcome, though I had a different story in mind. It’s kinda long.
    The sky was dark. Only the cricket’s music came from the pond side, everything else laid in a slumbered motion.
    “No stars or moon tonight?” Sakura signed, when she reached the entrance door.
    She shivered from the darkness. The chilling wind blew through her happi coat.
    “All work is done for today,” she whispered, relieved to retreat to her bed.
    Sliding shoji to walk into the entryway, she noticed a hole in the translucent paper. “I need to fix that tomorrow.”
    Genkou was dim. A lone lantern was burning on the wall.
    Sakura walked to the light and blew it out.
    The wooden floor resonated the clack of zori.
    She bent over to pull her straw shoes from her sore feet. She tripped and almost fell, as she stepped on someone else’s shoes.
    “Eri and Chie need to learn to put their shoes in order.” Sakura knew her companions too well, as she tried to stuff their shoes into the shelf.
    She felt her way to find her indoor slippers, but the space was empty.
    She will talk to them tomorrow, now she was heading to the bed chamber.
    She retrieved her futon bedding from the closed and rolled on the floor.
    “Good night.” Sakura slumped on her bed.
    The silence of the room lured her into a sleep.
    “Shhh! Don’t wake her up,” hashed female voice whispered close to her.
    Sakura opened her eyes and tried to adjust to the darkness.
    Someone was in her room and she didn’t like it.
    “I think she is in a deep sleep,” the other hashed voice answered.
    “Are you sure? You better check her.”
    Sakura shut her eyes, when she heard intruder’s steps coming her way.
    She felt the shaking on her hand.
    “She is asleep, alright, like a dead fish. And she stinks,” the voice whispered back.
    Sakura held her breath.
    “It’s all done. Let’s get out from here,” the first voice said.
    Sakura laid stiff, even after she heard the intruders left her room.
    She knew who it was…Eri and Chie. But she didn’t know what were they doing in her room.
    She waited for some time, making sure no one was going to return.
    She slipped from her bed covers and walked to the corner, where her chest stood.
    The cover was half opened.
    She pulled it up.
    Even though it was dark in the room, she knew the content of her chest by heart.
    She felt each object, and found what Eri and Chie left behind.
    It was hard and wooden.
    She shook it and heard the dangling sound.
    They left her with the mistress’ Jewelry box.
    But why?
    Sakura gasped, when she realized those servants wanted to accuse her as a thief.
    A thief caught in act will be punished by cutting the hand or hands off, depending on the seriousness of the crime.
    She clenched her hands.
    No, she doesn’t want her hands to be chopped off, just because of their jealousy. She needed to put the box back where it belongs.
    Did they plan to bring guards in the morning, when master Shigeo and mistress Kameyo come from wanami festival?
    Sakura winced, because she knew she need to move now to her mistress’ room if she ever wanted to come out clean from this.
    She closed the chest and listened.
    No sounds came from the hall.
    Sakura quietly slid shoji.
    The hallway was empty.
    She sneaked her way to the mistress’ room, trying to be as quiet as possible.
    She heard the footsteps behind her.
    She turned and bumped into the Master Shigeo’s hand.
    His eyes filled with rage and brows twitched, as pushed her away. “This how you meet your master from a trip.”
    Sakura flew down and hit the floor.
    The box fell and the jewelry scattered on the wooden floor.
    “What’s this?” His voice boomed through the hallway.
    Sakura laid still, tears falling from her eyes.
    The throbbing pain seized her head, then body.
    She couldn’t move.
    “You thieving fool!”
    Sakura refused to open her eyes.
    She was praying for a fast end.
    She felt the ragging steps, and the harsh yank.
    “Look at me! LOOK AT ME!” Master Shigeo demanded.
    She felt a hard punch in her face.
    The blackness surrounded her. Her heart pounding so fast she could not hear other sounds. Then the silence fell over her.
    Did the world stop existing? Did she stop existing?
    She slowly opened her lids. She felt no pain.
    She could only see Master Shigeo stamping to his chamber, his back on her. She saw other servants looking worried. They filled the hallway, wanted to know what happened. Only Sakura couldn’t hear what they were saying.
    She looked up and saw one star on the sky twinkling to her. The moon peeked through the clouds, revealing beautiful cherry tree in its full blossom.
    Sakura sighed and slipt away to the eternal sleep.

    Vocabulary: Happi coat=japanese short tunic worn by house servants. Shoji= a sliding door, window, room divider covered with translucent paper. Genkou= entryway, where arriving people remove their street shoes. Zori=outdoor slippers/sandals. Futon= the bedding consisting of mattress and a sheet cover. Wanami = a festival or picnic under the cherry trees in the full blossoms.

    My thoughts: I think it’s a slow piece. It took me long to do some research and put it together.
    The scenery in the picture is in a daylight, but I took a liberty and wrote it in the night time.
    The scene takes place in Japan, during the Cherry Blossom Festival.
    Master Shigeo is a warrior type, rude and cruel.
    Servants Eri and Chie are lazy and cruel, 29 years-old. They made Sakura do their work.
    Sakura- a naive servant, 24 years-old. She is the one, whom the other servant overlook and beat when the job is not done.
    The story goes, Eri and Chie tried to frame Sakura in thievery. They came to her room. Sakura took the jewelry box and headed to the mistress’ room, when she bumped into her master.
    He hit her so hard, she flew through the door and into the front yard, where beautiful cherry trees grew.

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